Ever fallen out with someone? I have, many times. I sometimes wonder if I am like marmite, people either like me or hate me, especially in the car park at school! If I sat down and thought about it, and I do that a lot, I think it's probably because I have expected too much from people. My brother once said, that if you expect nothing then you will be pleasantly surprised when something lovely happens. Annoyingly, he's right.

I have understood that life is about intention, and when someone hurts us our first question we ask ourselves is "did they intend to do that". Often its no, but when it's a yes then we have to decide what we are going to do about the situation. We can choose to let people upset us or not, as with most things life is about choice.

Some of us forgive and forget and repair the damage when possible. Again, speaking from experience when one gets one's fingers burnt twice or more, it's perhaps time to accept the lesson and move on. Being a sucker for helping the bird with the broken wing aid I have to remind myself this is their life journey too. Of course, human nature is to take, and yet we forget that it's giving and saying thank you that helps the Law of Karma to flow. Sometime, if you are the giver it all seems so unfair that the taker seems as happy as Larry whilst we feel hurt and used.

However, and here comes the tricky bit for us humans. If we wish bad on someone else it comes back to us three fold, believe me! What's worse is the more spiritual we become, the quicker the karma comes back. But the upside of that is that if you wish happiness and love upon others, including your enemies, the same applies, and it may come from a place you weren't ever expecting.

No one understands more than me, how hard it is to forgive someone for their actions. The hurt, anger and disbelief we go through when we have been honest and kind to a friend or even worse someone we love unconditionally, who then throws back in our faces is unbearable at times.

The road to recovery is a long and painful one, sadly their are no over night quick fixes. And if you have chosen the "easy" option of going back for more of the same, each time you are back in recovery the anger towards oneself increases, as we ask "how could I have been so stupid?". Some well intended friends will tell you that its not your fault, but I am afraid it is. We chose to let our selves get hurt and if we are really honest and listened to our hearts, didn't we know that this was a road to self destruction?

But, there is hope for a recovery and we can heal. And here are a few tips.

Firstly, ask yourself how this person's hurtful behaviour has made me a better human being.

Secondly, give yourself permission to choose to let go of this person and remind yourself daily that you deserve better lovers/friends.

Thirdly, start to do detachment exercises by imagining the person in front of you. Remembering the spiritual lesson they have taught you and imagine cords attaching you together from your hearts. Then visualise a large sword, knife or scissors in your hand and cut the cords. And if you are tempted to do something else with these sharp implements - remember Karma!!! You can practice this meditation as much as you like.

Then start to put your life back together, easier said than done, I know, but we have to start to somewhere. I have talked about affirmations in a previous blog and this is such a good time to use them. Something on the lines of "I am healing from this situation and letting go of my pain" , or "I am surrounded by people who love and appreciate me", and "I forgive this person from their actions". You may not feel it straight away but the universe will give it to you when the time is right.

I believe that although it's necessary to forgive, you can also detach. You can choose to no longer let this person affect you. This is not a karmically bad thing and once you let go of your anger you will find that as if by magic the universe will decided how karma should take place. Whilst, you hold on to seeking justice you block the natural path of cause and effect. Remember, holding on to anger can also make you ill. Disease is dis-ease.

So start by putting on happy music or watching an uplifting film. Surround yourself with people who you know love and care for you.

These people are our biggest teachers.