Ever fallen out with someone? I have, many times. I sometimes wonder if I am like marmite, people either like me or hate me, especially in the car park at school! If I sat down and thought about it, and I do that a lot, I think it's probably because I have expected too much from people. My brother once said, that if you expect nothing then you will be pleasantly surprised when something lovely happens. Annoyingly, he's right.

I have understood that life is about intention, and when someone hurts us our first question we ask ourselves is "did they intend to do that". Often its no, but when it's a yes then we have to decide what we are going to do about the situation. We can choose to let people upset us or not, as with most things life is about choice.

Some of us forgive and forget and repair the damage when possible. Again, speaking from experience when one gets one's fingers burnt twice or more, it's perhaps time to accept the lesson and move on. Being a sucker for helping the bird with the broken wing aid I have to remind myself this is their life journey too. Of course, human nature is to take, and yet we forget that it's giving and saying thank you that helps the Law of Karma to flow. Sometime, if you are the giver it all seems so unfair that the taker seems as happy as Larry whilst we feel hurt and used.

However, and here comes the tricky bit for us humans. If we wish bad on someone else it comes back to us three fold, believe me! What's worse is the more spiritual we become, the quicker the karma comes back. But the upside of that is that if you wish happiness and love upon others, including your enemies, the same applies, and it may come from a place you weren't ever expecting.

No one understands more than me, how hard it is to forgive someone for their actions. The hurt, anger and disbelief we go through when we have been honest and kind to a friend or even worse someone we love unconditionally, who then throws back in our faces is unbearable at times.

The road to recovery is a long and painful one, sadly their are no over night quick fixes. And if you have chosen the "easy" option of going back for more of the same, each time you are back in recovery the anger towards oneself increases, as we ask "how could I have been so stupid?". Some well intended friends will tell you that its not your fault, but I am afraid it is. We chose to let our selves get hurt and if we are really honest and listened to our hearts, didn't we know that this was a road to self destruction?

But, there is hope for a recovery and we can heal. And here are a few tips.

Firstly, ask yourself how this person's hurtful behaviour has made me a better human being.

Secondly, give yourself permission to choose to let go of this person and remind yourself daily that you deserve better lovers/friends.

Thirdly, start to do detachment exercises by imagining the person in front of you. Remembering the spiritual lesson they have taught you and imagine cords attaching you together from your hearts. Then visualise a large sword, knife or scissors in your hand and cut the cords. And if you are tempted to do something else with these sharp implements - remember Karma!!! You can practice this meditation as much as you like.

Then start to put your life back together, easier said than done, I know, but we have to start to somewhere. I have talked about affirmations in a previous blog and this is such a good time to use them. Something on the lines of "I am healing from this situation and letting go of my pain" , or "I am surrounded by people who love and appreciate me", and "I forgive this person from their actions". You may not feel it straight away but the universe will give it to you when the time is right.

I believe that although it's necessary to forgive, you can also detach. You can choose to no longer let this person affect you. This is not a karmically bad thing and once you let go of your anger you will find that as if by magic the universe will decided how karma should take place. Whilst, you hold on to seeking justice you block the natural path of cause and effect. Remember, holding on to anger can also make you ill. Disease is dis-ease.

So start by putting on happy music or watching an uplifting film. Surround yourself with people who you know love and care for you.

These people are our biggest teachers.

As I have mentioned before soul mates come in all guises. I have spent many years reading books on the subject and it has been, for me, rather like being given a very difficult jigsaw puzzle. After discovering my sixth sense I decided to find out more. Why are we here? Why do certain events happen to us? What happens after we die?

In this wonderful world of synchronicity, a good friend of mine gave me a copy of Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian Weiss. In a nut shell, Weiss is a hypnotherapist who tells the story of a patient, who whilst being regressed, slipped back so far she found herself as an Egyptian BC! Weiss gives an honest account of this extraordinary experience, and delves further. Throughout the book his patient recounts numerous past lives, none I might add, glamorous or regal. However, the author becomes curious as to her whereabouts between lives and incredibly , at that point, her voice would change, as if she was channelling messages from the other side. These messages were for me, the first pieces of my puzzle and my picture started emerging. With a thirst for more knowledge, I read his second book Only Love is Real. An enlightening story of a man and woman unknown to each other, discovering they had lived together in previous lives and finding love again in this one through Weiss.

I still have much to learn, I think that will take many more life times, yet I have a greater understanding of the bigger picture. I believe that we do reincarnate and each life is shared with other soul mates. Their purpose is to help each other to learn and grow. Therefore, not all will be "the one", some are far from it. Soul mates are those who have an impact on our lives, good or bad. Of course, that's not to say that amongst those are people we will fall in love with and share incredible happiness and understanding.

From what I have experienced as both a therapist conducting past life regressions and experiencing my own journeys back in time, I am left with no doubt that we all switch roles in each life. Your mother, for example could have been your daughter previously, and your worst enemy could have been the love of your life.

As agonising as it can be, when we are hurt by the actions of others we must recognise that on a soul level they were helping us to learn. I often find through sessions with my clients there seems to be specific lessons through their life that they must accomplish and if they don't recognise it the first time then a pattern emerges as various painful events reoccur. The situations may appear different, including the people involved, yet the message is the same, it may be rejection, self respect, unconditional love, and many more. Have you ever heard a friend say "I want to settle down in a relationship, but every time I fall in love it ends in the same scenario?" Perhaps, they are not getting the message? I have found that once you "get it" and let the universe know, it will not happen again, and the cycle stops. Certain meditations can help too, especially when a marriage has ended or a contract.

But don't despair! The "one" is out there and you can find them if you haven't already and of course I am always happy to help.

If you want to know more about Past Life Regression, Barbara Ford Hammond's book Past Life Tourism is a wonderful insight into the subject.

And if you have been hurt by someone ask yourself this. "How has this person's behaviour towards me helped me to become a better person?"

Have you ever had that feeling that someone is watching you? It's weird isn't it? How do we know that, even if they are behind us? The other day, I was in a cafe talking to a client and there it was, that sense that someone was staring at me. As I panned the room, still talking, someone, let's just say an angry acquaintance, was leaning against the Cafe Nero counter in the queue. Arms folded, giving me "the evils" as my teenage son would say.

And it happened again today, but this time it was a ghost! Nothing odd about that, bearing in mind I am a medium. Actually, it is nearly seven years since I saw my first fully formed spirit. A moment so incredible, in one instant my fear of dying dissolved as finally I saw proof of life after death.

Halloween is approaching, my favourite time of the year - naturally. Forget the broomsticks and pumpkins. According to many ancient cultures this is a liminal time of year, when spirits make contact with the physical world. Or to put it another way the "veil" is thinner between us and the other side, so if you want to see something paranormal, now is a good time.

I have seen many visitors from the other side but recall two occasions when I have mistaken very solid looking spiritual beings for physical ones. The first was in our house in London. I went to retrieve my daughter's push chair from our dining room (well you didn't expect us to use it for eating did you?), as we were on our way to terrorise the neighbours trick or treating. Conscious of the army of green faced 4 year olds ready to scare the residents of Kirkstall Road, I raced in to the room to retrieve the buggy, when I saw a man casually leaning against a cupboard. Since he was dressed in what looked like 20th century clothes, I presumed he was a father to one of the weapons of mass distraction waiting by the front door. Making some throw away remark, I reversed the pram out and strapped Louisa in and then it dawned on me, " who was that?" Seconds later I walked back in and yes you've guessed it, nobody there!

A year later, we had moved to Suffolk and I am doing the country thing, you know, bringing logs in for the fire, obviously to impress our friends from London for the weekend. I could have sworn Mark was standing in our kitchen by the kettle as I lugged the heavy load through to the fireplace. "If you are making tea I would love one" I yelled as I hurried through. I suppose he could have beeen a member of the Star Ship Enterprise and had beamed himself to the sitting room or I had just been talking to dead people again. Because there was Mark and his wife on the sofa , and there by my feet were the logs as I darted back to the kitchen to see who I had spoken to. Once again, nothing, and they hadn't even made my tea!

Today, sitting in front of laptop laboriously filling in data, out of the corner of my eye I notice someone is watching me and then hiding, but thankfully no "evils". This house is 500 years old, and this is my first All Hallows Eve here. I am hoping my new friend will sit down and tell me all about it soon. He has already snapped a wire on the back of a picture and keeps moving about upstairs, so it's looking promising. Am I mad? Probably, but they are just people who are earth bound in my opinion, and they just want to make contact.

So, if you would like to see something out of this world, ask, stay calm and wait. Get your cameras out and take pictures, most aren't camera shy. Don't be frightened, isn't it wonderful to know that there is more to life than just our day to day lives?

I have just been giving relationship advice to a vicar! Now, you would think a man of the cloth with a direct line to the big guy upstairs would know the answer to everything, surely? Or is there a clue in the question? Well he is a man!

Perhaps, that's a little unfair, after all, women (me included) are continuously flummoxed as to the key the perfect relationship. Although, I think I know the answers, I sometimes don't listen to that little voice saying "NO"!

Spiritual Law says, that if we believe in the greater power available to us all, then we can have anything we want to make us happy. My clergy friend made one negative statement after another. "I can't find a woman who understands me", "I am lonely", "all women want me to commit"! By saying this, he is affirming it, and the universe will give him exactly what he states. If he changed his affirmations to the possitive "all women understand me", "I am surrounded with friends", "I have found the perfect woman" then he would start to manifest his true desires.

Recently, The Secret a best selling film and DVD has influenced millions to use The Law of Attraction. A guide to cosmic ordering anything you want, it demostrates how we can get that job, soulmate, car etc. But what about the Law of Karma, or in simple terms, being careful for what you wish for? Yes, you can manifest a Ferrari but there is no guarantee that it won't kill you once you are behind the wheel. Equally, you can bring a soulmate into your life, but not all soulmates make you happy. They are there to teach us lessons, and most lessons are learnt through our mistakes.

Perhaps in this materialist world that we live in, we should focus on what we really want - happiness. Leaving the boys upstairs to decide what it is that makes our souls happy. The Law of Attraction simply means that what ever we are, we attract into our lives. So if we want to have happiness we need to be happy people.

My affirmation for today? I am a happy and loving person!.

So this is my first ever blog! Frankly, there are plenty of other things I should be doing, however, I find myself so bemused and frustrated right now and I am hoping this will be cathartic. Having just had a visit from my dear friend and author Barbara Ford-Hammond, we met up to plan our new day courses. Surfing the Internet for research I am greeted by some of the most hideous shades of purple, ear piercing music and angel icons on offer to entice lost souls on to life changing courses.Is it any wonder that the few "normal" holistic practitioners out there all get tarred with the same bonkers brush?

Since discovering there was more to life than just the usual day to day drudgery I have tried to keep my practice as far away as possible from the sitting under the triangle, knitting yogurt brigade for that very reason. "Gosh, you don't look like a psychic, you look like the mother who does the school run!" informed one of my clients on arrival. I didn't know psychics didn't do a typical school run, perhaps they travel on broomsticks or cast a spell, and with one puff of green smoke their little darlings are safely sitting at their desks ready for the first lesson! I must have missed that chapter in Mystic for Beginners. But then again, why would I want to do that? I would miss out on my daily dose of the play ground mafia. Brand spanking new Land Rover keys clutched tightly in their hand, intently listening to the latest gossip (it's parents in the big school who swing this week, by the way) whilst little Archie is freezing to death in his corduroy shorts wanting to go to class, about to get knocked down by another four wheel drive about to reverse into him.

It's like pushing water up a hill sometimes trying convince others that there is so much more to life. Yet, as the Buddhists would say "some people wouldn't have it any other way", in other words, there are those who are happy, being unhappy! Not me, I know that there is something amazing and magical within us and all around us and we can all find it. With some tuning in, meditation, affirmations and an open mind you can change your life.