Destination happiness

Last night whilst teaching, the subject of rescuing others came up. Women in particular are very good at this. The strange thing is most of us don't know why we do it. Perhaps it's our conditioning, or the need to feel wanted? I have been just as guilty of this trait. Don't get me wrong, I love my work and I when it comes to my clients nothing gives me greater pleasure than to see someone let go of their pain and move forward with their life with my help. It's a vocation for me. However, whilst writing my book, past relationships both in love and friendship have thrown up some painful feelings.

It feels as if you are travelling on a train, destination Happiness Central along the life journey line. The train begins to roll into the station and there standing on the platform is some poor soul surrounded with baggage. You notice that they are struggling big time with their bags, so you disembark and offer to help. Heaving the baggage back on to your carriage, you help load up the cases, squeezing them onto the shelf next to yours. The train starts to roll out of the station and your new travelling companion begins to pull down a bag and shows you the contents. It's badly packed so together you begin to take out the contents and sift through. What you don't notice is the emotionally toxic label on the front of the bag.

As you continue with your journey, you begin to feel tired, the travelling is exhausting and the toxins are beginning to effect your whole being. But you keep on going through their stuff helping them throw away the things that they don't need out of the window, so that when they reach their next destination their load is lighter. Some of the stuff doesn't make it to the window though and is strewn all over the floor of your carriage. Your fellow passenger isn't sure where they are going but you will accompany them for days, weeks, months or even years, just to make sure they arrive safely. You notice that they are now looking forward to their next stop and despite your exhaustion you sense a feeling of contentment that you have done a good turn for another fellow human being.

At last, the train come to a grinding halt or in some cases a massive jolt and the passenger gets off, leaving some rather sad and battered empty cases behind which take up your space. You are surrounded with their debris and you feel uncomfortable throwing more stuff out of the window and just don't know what to do with all the mess. They continue with their own journey, but there is no postcard or phone call to see how you are doing. Yet, they are armed with phone numbers of places and people to visit that you have suggested, a job you heard about, a book you recommended to read, a map you have drawn them, or just a knowing that if they wait on that platform another train will be along in a minute and someone else will lighten more of their load. And there on the station, just as you try to relax back into your seat, stands another passenger surrounded with bags and something inside you says, I can't say no to helping.

One day soon, we have to promise ourselves not to get off at every stop, so perhaps we will look the other way and see someone standing there waiting with just a small bag or a brief case, and we get off for a while, you let them take your baggage and put it in their car and they take you out and treat you. Or perhaps you choose to put your head down and let the train take you to your destination - happiness.

If you are that person who travels on the train get off at the right station. If you are struggling with your bags remember to be kind to the person who helped you, they did it because they cared. One day, the next train might be empty or of course the driver may be on strike and it could be a long time before the next train comes along.