Evolution

Argh! It's February already! My great plan to find a pause button on life is sadly failing, I read recently that some university somewhere discovered that if you keep changing direction in your life rather than routinely going about your business your life will appear slower. I tried to draw comfort from this when we moved house for the umpteenth time on the 29th December last year, although to be honest I completely lost track of days altogether at that time. Still, once I had emptied the last tired looking packing box and begun to find positives in our latest new home I find myself looking forward to 2015 with excitement and in trepidation. I can feel it in my bones, this year will be a year of extremes some wonderful and some challenging, but all part of the soul's development.

So, what's exciting? Well, for me, I have decided to go to university for starters, and have already begun my path to a psychotherapy degree. Although qualified as a Hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner and teacher of meditation, I have both a personal and professional want to learn and offer more. The first concern I had was that I would look old enough to be every other student's mother, but thankfully this particular course has an average age of 35, it seems there really is a need to attend the university of life first before helping others.

And being a student, I have also decided to cram in a gap year too,  another experience I missed out on when I was younger. Thus far, in between studying, work, children and walking the dog, my 2015 itinerary includes; San Francisco, Ireland, India, and our annual weekend at Latitude Festival in June. I am beyond excited at each one of these trips for different reasons, more on that later.

My first challenge of 2015 began in the first week of January, my Dad was diagnosed with a malignant tumour in his stomach and for me this was quite a shock, I couldn't help thinking "but this wasn't the plan!". He is 85 and has always been such a healthy man, his parents lived into their nineties and both simply fell off their perches, so obviously I thought he would eventually do the same thing.  But my belief in the power of positivity gave me some purpose and I invited all my Facebook friends to spare a moment to send Dad healing and hope. Three weeks later, and I am happy to report that he is on the mend and it appears as if the cancer has all been removed. I am deeply grateful to all of those who took the time to think of him and give me a little longer with my Dad. Thank you.

Psychotherapy students must attend 40 hours of counselling sessions in the first year. Clearly, the view being you can't sort other people's heads out if your own is in turmoil, and this is an opportunity to observe how other therapists work. My therapist is female and older than me, she is local but my instinct's picked her because she looked rather wise in her photograph. I was apparently fifteen minutes late for my first session and I could see that I was going to have to accept that was my fault. There was a lot of note scribbling and nodding as I explained my somewhat unusual life path. The misery of abuse at boarding school, the conditioning at home, and of course the icing on the cake, the breakdown of the relationship between my mother and myself amongst other golden nuggets. I am a Freudian dream case, and although clearly my therapist has a view on the emotional damage of a child at boarding school, she also presumed she would take the role of my "mother" from time to time. My relationship with my mother broke down 6 years ago and we haven't spoken since.  My second visit I endeavoured to be five minutes early for my appointment, once again I had done the wrong thing! I apologised profusely and was met with a question on the lines of "do I you think I'm like your mother?" I am intrigued as to the journey this therapist is taking me on, the session was difficult and I came away with one half of me ready to look elsewhere for a therapist and the other half stubborn enough to see where she is going with this. Despite feeling as if I had been put through a mangle I am choosing option A for now.

I have learnt I can not change my mother (or anyone else for that matter), only she can do that, but I can be grateful for what she has taught me through her behaviour, and I truly believe that my closeness with my own children is because I realise how important a loving parent is. We must be grateful for what we have got not what we haven't got. In fact, I have always found that people who challenge us, are a gift, sometimes it takes years to realise the bigger picture but for me each event is a lesson and I choose to learn and grow, not wither and die, what else can you do? 

Healthy New Year!

Three years ago, I had my last cigarette. Funnily enough, it wasn't as painful as I had dreaded it to be. Indeed, I was met with much encouragement and lots of "well done's" as I revelled in the new me. No more waking up every morning with a disgusting taste in my mouth, or smelling smoke on my clothes and in my hair. My skin started to glow again and I felt a sense of freedom, no longer a slave to standing in the freezing cold, outside a pub or hiding behind the summer house so the children couldn't see me. It was all good, my halo was shining like a beacon and I had finally kicked the filthy habit.

Six months later, my father kindly treated me to a week at a retreat. We had just moved house and coupled with a family trauma he insisted I had an early Christmas present, a break. I chose an Ayurvedic Retreat in Kent (Tor Spa Retreat). No TVs, no phones, no Internet, no meat and no alcohol! Peace and quiet for seven delicious days, and all I had to do was relax and enjoy the best massages ever!

One week later,  I emerged like butterfly from her cocoon, ready to take on the world. I was rested and yet felt quite amazing. A sense of calm enveloped me despite returning to the same old chaos. Once home and with only a few weeks to go till Christmas I realised that I had a big choice to make. A glass of red and a steak or stay feeling this good? I had never been a big drinker but I had noticed that my drinking had increased when under enormous stress and having seen what too much drink has done to others it had spooked me.

I chose to give my health a chance and I loved how I felt and wasn't ready to give that up for anything. I found it remarkably easy, despite being surrounded by fellow drinkers, the better I felt the more I wanted that feeling. I replaced all the bad stuff with lots of healthy alternatives and each day I reaped the rewards. Strangely,  I was met with a very different reaction to my abstinence compared to smoking.  From ignorance and fear to total stupidity as friends, acquaintances and strangers discovered my new life choice. Looks of total disbelief or even a sympathetic smile as they assumed I was a regular to AA. After all why else would I not be drinking!

I was taken a back when one mother at school who came to stay said that I made her "feel bad" just because I was drinking tea and not sharing her Rose. I hadn't said a word, she clearly just looked at me and it reflected back something in her own conscience. 

When we first moved to Woodbridge, another mother asked if I would like to go out with her and a group of her friends one evening. Just as I was about to accept her offer, she interrupted me and said "oh that's right you don't drink do you? Perhaps we should stick to day time!" I hastened to inform her that people who don't drink do actually still go out in the evenings and are capable of having a good time!

As a non-drinker, I have begun to realise how inter-woven alcohol is in our society. If you have a cold people suggest you warm up a glass of brandy, if you are stressed you are advised to go home and have a nice glass of wine. Try finding a funny birthday card these days in Smith's that doesn't have an alcoholic connotation. A whole night's conversation can revolve around booze, the wine you tried on holiday, how pissed someone got at a wedding, and guess who is the designated driver at the end of the evening. Last year, I offered to drive a group of friends home from a ball. There I was sober as a judge, herding cats out of a building into the snow and into the car. It took over half an hour just to get six people into a car.

I know there will be some who haven't even reached this paragraph, thinking how boring I am being. That's the life of a teetotaller, we are assumed dull, ridiculous and even weird and yes it can be tough and lonely.  But I choose health, I choose to give my body a chance, I choose (at my age) not to look like an idiot swaying about, falling over furniture, into bushes, or having to apologise for my behaviour. I am a mother and therefore a role model. I choose to give the next half of my life a chance. Is that so bad? Only time will tell. 

Trust me, I haven't been an angel in the past and it was fun while it lasted. But now, I love waking up feeling good, I love living a healthy life and if I fuck up I will have no one to blame but myself because I knew what I was doing. 

I don't miss the booze, fags, sugar etc. I strongly believe that if you replace these things with healthy supplements and lovely healthy food your brain will realise what you are doing and it makes cravings so much easier to conquer. 

If would like to join me and you need further help, come and see me! It's NOT as scarey as you think.

Day one of finding "it"

It's not that I have stopped writing, it's that I have been writing elsewhere recently. That's all I can say really, as it has been all very private and has to stay that way to protect other people. However, it's 2011 and I'm back blogging.

Saying goodbye to 2010 wasn't tricky. Although despite some personal challenges I am now the proud owner of a qualification as a hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner. Allowing my clients even more help when they need it. It has been fascinating studying the mind with my superb teacher Barbara Ford Hammond and I have the learning bug more than ever now.

However, perhaps it's January blues but there is a huge feeling of needing an even greater understanding of my existence on this planet. I have decided go in search of "it" and due to my huge health kick last year, I have no vices to give up, I have decided my resolution will be to gain rather than to subtract from my life.

I am not sure what "it" is yet but I have a pretty good idea of what "it" isn't. It isn't for example just a simple search for happiness, or love even. I think I am experienced enough to know that happiness has many forms for each individual and it's a matter of perspective after all.

What I want is a sense of complete calm and knowing firmly cemented in my soul and although that feeling has drifted in and out I plan to find a way to make it stay for the rest of my life.

A few weeks ago, an advert for a Charity Trek to Nepal and the Himalayas in 2012 screamed at me. I met a wonderful Indian woman once who told me that the Himalayas were the back bone of life. Apparently one day, you are walking through difficult forests where you really cant see where you are going, whilst on another day you can see beautiful calm waters and spectacular views, just like life. I will be visiting temples and remote villages with a group of women and Prof Winston who's charity we are raising money for. I least I say I will as I have made the first step and put my name down.

But that's a long way off and for now apart from working on my fitness more than ever, I have to ask myself where else do I find "it". Perhaps I should put my life in the hands of the Universe?

If you are interested in Sponsoring me on my trek for the Charity Genesis Research Trust please e mail me at lizzie@lizziefalconer.com Thank you

Catching up....

It's five to one in the morning but quite frankly if I don't write this now perhaps I won't get round to it for another six months. I have no idea where I have been as to not write this, but I have come to the conclusion that sometimes one has to study in life to learn and sometimes we have to take some practical lessons. I think that's what I have been doing actually.....and it's been an inspirational journey.

Our new puppy has been a wonderful addition to the family and I take him out into the fields every morning for a 3 mile hike across some of Suffolk's most beautiful countryside. Perhaps I am just getting old, but I LOVE walking him and the effect it is having on my mind, body and spirit. I often find myself in the middle of a huge open beautiful space thinking how lucky I am to be able to live in such an amazing place. I love watching the seasons change, as so far, I have trudged through snow and rain, picked Spring flowers and of course at the moment during this heatwave I have watched the crops gradually ripen in the sun. I feel fit and healthy and my mind has never been clearer. And I am totally in love......... with our little black Miniature Schnauzer Woody.

The other walk though, the spiritual one, is not for the faint hearted, some find it difficult to understand why I can not simply stop. I have of course come off the path a few times, but it keeps finding me in the end and the draw to continue is extraordinary. I am not sure that even the work I did a couple of years ago has a any relevance to what I am learning and passing on in my teaching today. I have discovered so many new understandings, which have gone on to help other people..thank you universe.

Of course, we must have bad in this world so we can understand what good is. But it's how we approach this that matters. Learning to detach from negative people and those with an ego is tough and can be very painful. It always comes back to the self and I understand that you only attract what you already are into your life. But the ego is, in my opinion, the nearest thing to evil as we know it. A human led by ego is afraid, needs constant approval, is insecure, and will take no regard for others and their feelings.

The human who has let go of their ego, lives from the soul within. The soul knows there is no need to be afraid of being alone, as we are never really alone. The soul does not need approval, as approval from others doesn't exist...after all, who is better than another? The soul trusts in itself and feels at one, it recognises that insecurity is merely a waste of it's energy.

The soul is an extraordinary energy, the ultimate energy, and when that energy is used in the right way then it can heal the body, the mind and your path in life. Those who's lives are spiralling out of control are living from the ego.

I have worked on my energy for some months now and I have watched interesting things take place, I can not emphasise enough the importance of giving your energy away. Life is a series of adventures and moments, some will make you feel wonderful whilst others will be tough. It's how you see them that matters, what you learn from them. Letting go of a situation when it's difficult allows the Law of Karma to take place, let the Universe sort out your problems and just move on. I have found it difficult at times but seeing others wasting their energy on situations is a wonderful reminder that I need to let go too.

I have some wonderful people in my life and I have learnt some wonderful lessons from some not so wonderful situations, now it's time to go and work with those who want to change and be happy and wish goodbye and good luck to those who don't.

Right bed time.....the sun will be rising up above those fields soon and a little dog will be giving me that look!

Cyril Scott

I have had this recurring dream for a few years now, well actually I have had two recurring dreams but the one I will share with you now strangely has come true...sort of. I dream I am in a big house, I feel it's mine and and each time I dream, I spend time in different room. At the end of each dream I climb a small staircase to an attic and there is a book shelf full of very old books. I seem to know in my dream that if I was to pull out a book and read it, it would give the answer to so much about life. Naturally, every time I am just about to read the book I wake up or am woken up with "Mummy are there any pain au chocolate for breakfast?" So frustrating!

Until the other day, I went into this rather hidden old second hand book shop in our local town and found a book called The Initiate by His Pupil. Written in the 1920's it is the most profound literature I have read for a long time. With a little research I discovered "His Pupil" was the great composer Cyril Scott who looks uncannily like Richard E. Grant in his youth! Scott was an extraordinary man who not only composed some beautiful music but wrote many books on health, and the Occult.

The very mention of the word Occult can send some people into a spin, but this is merely true spiritual enlightenment and has nothing to do with cauldrons and witches. Scott writes so beautifully and despite his rather old English language one soon gets into the flow of it and he makes such sense. Needless to say I am now the proud owner of all his books and am studying rather than reading them and will be sharing with you over the months some of his wonderful knowledge.

Most importantly, I am very excited to have corresponded with his son Desmond Scott who has given me a little more insight into his wonderful father. For those of you who are tired of reading the same old self help books and are ready to move up a level then please read his work.

I have come to realise that the road to enlightenment is a two part journey. Some of it is practical in the shape of soul-mates who come into our lives to help us to learn to be better people, and then the second part in theory. I have spent a while now working on the practical and am enjoying the studying at the moment.

Last year was for my understanding and healing, this year feels productive and full of hope. Scott explains that material wealth holds no energy that will last and make you happy, only your soul carries your true happiness. When you have realised this then you can move forward with conviction.

Peace

Peace in their time

I have learnt over the last few years on my journey to enlightenment, that if you have a particular dream for something and it's not working out, leave it alone! If a door is shut keep it shut, but if a door is open go through it.....simple! Naturally, like any stubborn female there have been times that I have tried to find the key to open the door or even managed to force it open with a flippin crowbar, but it just swings back and I get my fingers caught or worse!

Lately however, it seems that I am following the right path, doors are opening everywhere and so far I don't feel an annoying draft! As I have mentioned before I have been working with teenagers and twentysomethings.....the youth of today. Never have I experienced anything so rewarding and I feel as if the best is yet to come. Although, I think they get bored of me nagging at them about the rubbish they eat as they munch away in class on stuff that doesn't even look like food. I digress....more importantly they are more enthusiastic than ever to sort out our sorry town.

So despite our long term plan to have a place for them to go,that provides fun and a future for them, first up is giving Sudbury a shake. Once a quaint Suffolk market town, now a place overrun by young people spilling out of pubs and clubs all weekend, causing trouble. Vandalism, drug addiction, alcohol abuse and teenage pregnancy all rising steadily and now......murder. Yes I know we are not exclusive, but Rome and all that.

In 1993, a transendental meditation group on Washington meditated for peace and to lower the crime rate. It worked, just through the power of 4,000 participant's thought process the crime rate was recorded as decreasing by 48%! This is a mind blowing figure and surely can not be ignored? I suggested we try and pursuade Sudbury's population to do the same, bring the place to a grinding halt, even for just for one day.

Positivety is infectious, and organically within an hour we had come up with a cunning plan to produce some kind of Peace Day. Our imagination went nuts as we visualised stages with brilliant bands, amazing speakers and gurus, turning our town for one day into a proper community.

One of the boys said "and perhaps we could all pin our hopes and dreams onto a tree?" His comment blew me away, but it's amazing what happens when you cut down on sugar!

I began in earnest to put the feelers out and the doors are swinging open. Not only did everyone pick up their phone and listen, so far they are all saying yes! Local authorites and the police are being incredibly helpful, my friends and contacts are just the same. Already I have had some very exciting names agree to be on board, details later, and next week I have meetings to pin down the date next year and of course the venues. It has even grown into being a weekend now, a festival.

My 12 year old son said that "we couldn't have peace around us, unless we found peace within first!" and suggested we have a confession cubicle for people to write down their troubles and burn them. And yes it did bring a lump in my throat.

Another group member has no idea how good his writing is, finally started writing his own blog, and I am very proud of him. Well done Matt, please keep it up! The link is below and definitely worth a read.

http://www.matthew-norton.blogspot.com/

I will be keeping updates of this event on here and there will be facebook etc pages available soon, I think I am going to be rather busy for the next 9 months and as ever, brilliantly timed with the arrival of a new member of the family on Sunday.....Woodstock aka Woody.....our new puppy! Funny how we named him after the most amazing festival ever, before this idea was born. But then there is no such thing as coincedence!

Peace and happiness

When we were young

Where does the time go when you're having fun! One minute I am on my rainy summer holidays and the next we are gathering logs for the fire. It's around this time I defiantly promise myself that I WILL be superwoman this Christmas. I visualise myself with my feet up by December in front of said fire, whilst everyone else stands in queues at More Toys R Driving Us Nuts! So far so good, but family members please don't hold your breath!

My work with my teenagers had progressed and I must confess to loving every minute of it. The group grew, so I split the them into girls and boys. Interestingly, the boys are there without fail every week, which has slightly turned into a swap as they are teaching me poker the following evening! The girls have been distracted, and I am not sure that their hunger for wanting to change their lives is so great, perhaps a few more lessons with the outside world first. However, I am touched by the attendance and loyalty from the guys and in return they are making amazing progress in only a few weeks. Their psychic/intuitive ability is incredible and I am so proud to be helping them. Equally, their want for more in their lives is leading them to incredible self motivation. Their aspect on what the world could offer them is changing for the better.

Sadly, our local town, Sudbury, lost a young life to a stabbing a few weeks ago. The shock wave has been immense and some of my group knew the victim. That week in our class we all talked at length about what happened and why. Organically, an idea hatched from these young people who desperately want change in their community. If a typical ignorant adult, who pigeon holes all teenagers as something of a waste of space, lent them an ear they might just learn a thing or too. I found our talk incredibly humbling and inspiring. Given a choice they would rather be playing sport or some other fun activity than spending night after night in a drossy themed pub.

Together we have given life to a project which is still in the embryonic stages, however, driven by a spiritual understanding and already some divine intervention we could change things. A chance for teenagers to have a voice and show others that they are good souls too. They are our future after all. More on this as it unfolds.

As for me, life is getting better and better. I get stronger and wiser every day. Halloween, my favourite time of the year, approaches and I will be at the Scole Inn for a haunted evening on the 31st. I am also about to embark on some new paranormal experiments with a group, based on the experiments that took place, oddly just behind the Scole Inn. Mr and Mr Foy who conducted the original Scole Experiments have sent a copy of the formula and once I acquire all the tools needed , we shall begin! I am so looking forward to seeing what will happen as the book and website is quite intriguing.

www.scoleexperiment.com

As I look back on the last few years, I hardly recognise myself. I finally feel some inner peace and the universe has been hard at work helping me. There is still a part of that mountain to climb, but, I feel the summit is near and I have found the strength to get there. Now, when clients come and see me I feel richer in experience than ever and no longer feel like the plumber fixing other people's taps whilst my own leaks at home.

Peace